I walked through life, so unaware of there being another way to play it.

Where I stand today is a few lifetimes away from the person I once was. When the unexpected hit, life as I knew it fell apart, thrown into an unknown I'd never thought possible. The years that followed stretched me, but they also taught me that valuable lessons await us inside every challenging experience. My motivation to keep going was often tested. When I was low, I'd question myself: “Do you want to sink further, Jill, or learn to swim?” Swimming always pulled me up by the shirttails.

My overloaded thoughts wore at me, especially in the quiet night hours when sleep eluded me. I yearned for calm and peace of mind, but instead I kept manufacturing more pain and strain. I realise now that I'm not alone in experiencing this head space, as many others walk this same path. Our causes may vary, but the effects upon us, in mind and body, are intense and debilitating. To the outside world, that side of us is rarely on view, held in and hidden. So, when morning breaks, we put on a happy face and get to work on the demands of the day. The true tester comes when we stand in a room full of people, yet feel like the loneliest person on the planet. I know this space well, because I've lived it.

On all counts, life was very normal. I married young, as that was the done thing back then. We travelled the world, bought a house and had our children, never once expecting life to be any different. But life as I knew it didn't last. It turned on its head when Ray's second surgery took away his ability to speak. For a few short weeks he talked with his eyes, and then he was gone. My Mum's declining health meant caring for her in our home for the next two years, until her death. Then came the franchise business that ended up in the Federal Court, the loss of money, and three jobs to make ends meet. All of that and more pushed me to the limit.

Life was an existence, a far cry from living — and my kids were doing it tough too, which as a Mum was a hard reality. I yearned to play life my way, rather than toe the line of what I came to feel was expected of me. My mind never stopped searching for a different way. And with that came a flow of new awarenesses: if I was to receive the gain, I first had to step away from the pain. Every forward step challenged me as I learnt to question myself — not as criticism, but as a new way of thinking, each one cutting to the core.

"What had I become, and how could I turn that outcome on its head?"

The ‘how could I’ opened my thinking to a world of possibility. I had to step away from telling myself “I can't,” and into the new space of “I can.” Wow, that was a big leap of faith.

It took courage and an internal drive to face the unknown. Some days I'd slip, other days I'd surprise myself. This is when my mindset Tool Bag came into play, as I was rewarded with the outcomes of every new direction and follow through. Welcoming this new and healthier way of living was empowering — starting with bootcamps, courses, and the training needed to begin as a Life, Business and Property coach.

The cornerstone of four simple words kept me grounded, becoming my motivational roadmap: Decide, Believe, Begin, Become. They still keep me humble and on track, all these years on. My introduction to personality profiling during those early years shed light upon myself, my thinking, my actions and reactions to different situations — but it didn't stop there. It gave me the tools needed in reading and navigating those I connected with.

I'm not immune from problems. That's life for every one of us. But when a challenge strikes, I face it head on, feeling and acknowledging it for what it is, then flipping into solutions mode. The old me is long gone, and I value the lessons learnt over those years. They're a gift in all I do.